I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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