Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
