You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
