Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
