That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
