I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
can u get pink eye on your cock?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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