Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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