He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
