We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
