do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
