remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You pole danced in your parka.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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