We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
