we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
