I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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