Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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