he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
