the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This is the high leading the old right now
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
