Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
