I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
