thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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