Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
