yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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