How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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