I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
