you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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