She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
