I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
