do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Blow job season was short but glorious.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
