Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you win again, gameday.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
