D3 body, D1 cock
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
