I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
