Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
