singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize