Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
