he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
