I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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