he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
