he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
