did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
