I met the friendliest cop last night
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize