I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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