I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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