Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
