Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's blow job season.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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