i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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