I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
a search helicopter?!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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