So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
