i love accidental penises.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
