1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
