): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize