Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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