Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
