whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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