i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
