i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
