I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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